poetry for the end of the summer
As the summer season comes to a close, I have been forced to reflect upon and face myself. I am a firm believer that as there are seasons within nature, there are also seasons of life. This summer I have learned a lot about who I am, both good things and bad, and as this season comes to an end I have found that I am in a place where I must let go of a lot. This collection of prose is about precisely that: Letting go. Letting go of people, situations, emotions, etc. that no longer serve you. It’s hard to do. It is definitely a process getting over the things that have wounded you in your life, and doesn’t happen instantly. But hopefully, eventually, you will get to a place where you are ready to move on and grow. Sometimes you need someone else to give you the permission to move forward towards a better place, rather than holding on to the familiar. I hope that these words give you that permission, if you have no one else in this moment.
every day I wake up
slip into my spacesuit
step out into emptiness of your company
handkerchief over mouth
i might say something stupid.
all this gravity was too heavy
as I lurked on earth
this mind is made so cumbersome and flighty -
feeling bricks prickle out from skin
like feathers exploding out of a pillow
so i sit
with the wit i shot out of the atmosphere-
attached it to a satellite to try and catch a signal
you’re not Houston –
but somehow you tuned in.
well aren’t you stellar?
it certainly is overwhelming
being from outer space.
Waiting to feel the shockwave
From the rumblings of my cries
I’m flooding after torrential rains
And tsumanis came hurdling in.
Emergency sirens blister air and ears
But all you do is sit cross-legged in your favorite chair,
With a book
So oblivious and dreamy…
The world looks fine, don’t it?
Those damn birds were squawking for no good reason.
Hungry and green
Standing on nothing but this mound of dirt
Fresh cut grass and shady willow trees
Ever-present and existing elegantly on
The other side of the picket fence.
Looking up at blue skies
Clouds feathering underneath Father Sun
A growing, aching, urgency comes near
With the wind, blowing
Storming thunderclouds over to the side I’m still on.
Nothing but worms here
Death making up surrounding ground
Numbing these feet
Skin all purply
Needing to feel that warmth,
But now up to the knee in mud.
Missing the hug of a friend –
A bumblebee whizzing by
Sends a shiver through ragged bones
As summer air subsides.
Will this feeling last forever?
Who knows? Not I.
Loneliness becoming a cloaked companion
With whom I break bread tonight.
Moving out and clearing out
Heart is heavy, arms are heavy
Shoulders sore from carrying life
In unorganized battered boxes of junk
Boxes and boxes of little smirks,
and whispered two-cents
That slid through my gut like a sharpened sword and
I let myself bleed out into jars that I saved in box four.
How easy it was to skate through everything so one-dimensionally
With my boxes carefully balancing on my back
That hike started off so easy
But the trail turned precarious
Then my boxes were rained on
The edges becoming feeble
Everything started spilling out
And all my stuff
For unknowns to consider and gawk.
How hard it can be to realize
Nostalgia is not my friend -
This life is only moments of
posed magazine pics of things wanted
Missing the props and models
of that time when you took the photo.
Pattering raindrops fall on cheeks
Now look up
They slip through sunbeams cutting dark clouds
Shoes are drenched
But look up
As you float away
For now it’s okay to live in the space of in-between
When will you look up?
Gaze stuck upon cement won’t change the ground you’ve been walking on.
So look up -
Surrender your wings to the opening sky