(for literal idiots)


Finding a family recipe proved a difficult task for me. I can wholeheartly say I do not come from a line of strong cooks, or even people that really like to be in the kitchen. I’m serious.  I have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years and my idea of making dinner for him is cutting up strawberries while he makes the actual dinner. Even further, my brother is 19 and not once have I even seen him make something more complicated than a Digiorno. So, this idea of compiling a cookbook of recipes among “The Creative” team definitely meant I had my work cut out for me. 

Then I remembered: Chocolate Chip Pancakes, the sweet, breakfast treat that not even the Harpers can fuck up. Most of the time.  Here is the long treasured way to make pancakes in the Harper house.

1.      Mentally prepare to be in the kitchen.  It’s cool, you’ve got this.  Just put on your 2010 Keri Hilson playlist and hope for the best.
2.     Remember that, since you never actually cook, you don’t have any of the ingredients you need.
3.     End up wandering through the aisles of your nearest grocery, 90% talking on the phone and 10% actually finding the items you came there for.
4.     Now here is the most important step. BUY A PREMADE PANCAKE MIX. This helps ensure you have to do as little work in the kitchen as possible while still receiving all the credit when the pancakes are finished. My personal favorite is the Bisquick “Shake ‘n’ Pour”.
5.     Then, quickly grab chocolate chips, and syrup if you’re feeling adventurous, and get the hell out of there.
6.    Come home, start your Keri Hilson playlist from the beginning and put your hair up in a ponytail. No one like hair in their pancakes.
NOW HERE IS THE BEST PART! Since you’re buying a premade mix, they’ll have a recipe already on the back of the packaging on how to make it. So your next step is to follow their instruction.
7.     Add chocolate chips in the batter.
8.    Flip the pancakes when you see some bubbles popping in the batter. This works best if you pretend you’re a 50-year-old Italian man flipping pizzas in your family-owned Pizzeria.
9.    Pair your finished pancakes with mimosas, swear off the kitchen for another two months, and call it a day.